Friday, October 8, 2010


Well... it has been FOREVER since I have posted... I finally have time to just vent a bit and I figured if I don't blog now then I'll probably miss another Mamavation Monday post {ha! hows... Mamavation... what day is today?, oh Friday!... Mamavation Friday Post}

Lets see... a lot has happened... not sure exactly what I want to talk about... so this will probably be a long rambly post...

I think I currently weigh 173lbs-175lbs ... I have not been weighing myself regularly lately because it makes me upset... My wonderful boyfriend quit his job back on August 20th or so and has gone from night shifts where I NEVER saw him to 'day shifts' where he is always home when I am... he has a new job and they were training him on the day shift, but he did not go back to nights until this wednesday.... so my world has been shaken up over the last 7 weeks... Dont get me wrong... I love my boyfriend and it was AWESOME to have the time together, but it really messes with my eating...

I have definately had too much carbs over the last 7 weeks and that pretty much accounts for the extra pounds ( I'm up from a low of ~165lbs)....

I think it is wrong that I cannot maintain my weight around my boyfriend... I know how to eat healthy-er... but making him eat what I eat is not always easy... It is super simple for me to cut back on carbs {read cut them out of some meals entirely} and eat a LOT less than normal to control my weight... but he has never had a weight problem and sees nothing wrong with eating 2 or 3 candy bars in one sitting... after a huge carb-loaded dinner... He had gained weight and was feeling down about it... but it was mostly because he was eating twice as much as he did when he was working 12hour night shifts... he's only been back on nights for 3 days and is down 3 pounds...

Anyways, what I am getting at is that I need to LEARN how to feed a family... how to actually COOK meals... with MEAT. and VEGGIES...

I thought about applying to be a Mamvation Mom... because that is what they do... they learn how to feed their family and themselves with the RIGHT foods {while of course getting their butts kicked physically}... I thought -WIN WIN- ... eat right, move more... lose weight, learn healthy habits, help others...

But unfortunately I am disqualified before I even start... Because well... I am not a Mom... And I understand... and not that I thought I'd get chosen on my first try, my first time applying... but at least I could try... maybe do the move-it/lose-it challenge... and feel included... but I joined a group that I don't really belong to... a group of Moms... and so sometimes that limits my participation... no lie, I was BUMMED over the last 2 weeks... But, title or not, there is still a lot of support to be had among the ladies that I would NEVER trade!! Time to put on the Big Girl Panties!!

I need help... I have an awful relationship with food and I don't want to pass it on to my future children... I am trying to get to a healthy weight so that I can have a healthy pregnancy but I know that without really changing my relationship with food that my weight/health will always be a struggle...

I love being a part of the Sistahood... I am not super active on twitter to begin with, so I know that when I stop blogging for a bit it probably looks like I have fallen off the face of the Earth.... well, work is INSANE right now... with no signs of slowing down in the near future... I promise to try and stay active and send out some positive vibes this week.... I am SUPER thankful for everyone who has reached out to me... I promise I am okay and will 'pay-it-forward' as far as love and support go!

Hope all you lovely ladies have a great week! Thanks for the love and support!

***BIG Shout out to Jared and @SubwayFreshBUzz for sponsoring Mamvation this week - offering an ipod shuffle and itunes gift card... too cool!... join the Commit to Fit movement!

***LOTS of support to all the Mamavation Mom finalists... so excited for you all!!!


  1. Hi Laura, glad to hear that things are going well... semi good!
    I know the food thing is hard but well we all struggle with some form of an addiction I guess.

    Good thing that you want to be more healthy before you have kids, that is wise.

    Take care and have a good weekend.


  2. Hey Laura - we all feel like this from time to time, gain weight, feel out of control, feel sad, depressed, like we don't belong, etc.

    Do you feel supported by your boyfriend? You said he doesn't really get being overweight, and you did gain the weight when he was on days. Could you just make your own food and let him fend for himself? Or maybe make food that you both can eat, with it being his choice whether he eats what you're making or wants to make himself something else? Does he offer you food that he knows isn't in your eating plan?

    As far as weight/health being an ongoing problem, I think it is for all of us who are here. Maybe some of the people have been fit forever, but for the most part, we've had years of a bad relationship with food and weight gain/loss. If you haven't seen the video that Leah made of the trip to NYC, it's worth watching. Jared talks about how he'll always want to eat the bad food and that this will be a lifelong process. I'm not sure if it's different for others, or if it is just something we need to accept and learn to cope with?

    Anyway, I like to read your posts and the fact that you don't have a child doesn't make me want you less in the Sistahood!

    Hang in there.

  3. Oh Laura, I know where you are coming from. I struggle to eat healthy and more so to get my hubby to eat healthy. He just doesn't want anything to do with it and we butt heads a lot over food issues. All I can offer is to do the best you can for yourself. Seriously. That's what I have to do and slowly, hubby is starting to follow suit. It's a partnership but you will likely have to be the one who leads the way and pioneers the changes you want for you and your future family.

    And don't worry about feeling like you don't belong because you do. I sometimes struggle with that because I'm way up in Canada by myself and I feel really disconnected sometimes but the love is there and the support is there!


  4. Good to see you posting again. I have a child and I still struggle with learning how to cool. A lot of the Sistas have great recipes and are more than willing to help you figure things out. Best of luck to you this week.

  5. eatting healthy is a hard thing, trust me I may have been in mamavation for over a year, but I still stuggle everyday!!! But i can tell you one thing this is a no judgement zone we are only here to help and support each other! I know that if you need help we all will be here for you. Let us help and just because your not a mom does not mean anything because you are taking the first step to being a great mom by being healthy now adn making goals now that will help you in the futrue! Chin up sweetie!

  6. I gained most of my weight when my DH and I started dating... It's hard to get them on your track. Eating (and not eating well) is a celebration, or social thing for us so it was really hard to break!

  7. Hang in there, Laura!! The first step in changes those bad habits and the bad relationship with food is reaching out for help - and you've done that!! I know your schedule is crazy, but if you can hang out on Twitter, we share TONS of ideas for healthy eating with each other. Yes, it's great that you want to encourage others, but don't forget that WE are here for YOU too! Lean on us!!

  8. I can relate to the trouble with a partner who just doesn't get it. My hubby has been super supportive but deep down, I think he's waiting for the chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes to make another appearance on the menu what he doesn't always understand is that just by typing those words I think I've gained a pound.

    Crazy schedules are my forte and here's what I've learned. I will make dinner (when I'm not in school or remember to set up the crockpot when I am) and it will be healthy and nutritious. If you choose not to eat it, that is a choice and you can either fend for yourself or go to bed hungry. I know... I'm harsh... but I expect that kind of tough love for me so I dole it out to those I love.

    Remember though that by noticing an issue, you can correct the issue. Quite powerful isn't it? i know you can do it! I can't wait until next week to hear about all of your success!

  9. Good to see you posting again. I too gained. It stinks but we can change it. This is something we have control over. I hope you can get your boyfriend involved and supportive, that is key in making this work. You can do it though!

  10. I understand life being absolutely insane. Between school full time and my 4 year old son, life gets fairly hectic.

    I also understand about living with someone who is not paying attention to what they eat. My husband still drinks soda, still has an occasional cigarette and doesn't really care how/what he eats.

    Just hang in there and this sounds bad, but feel slightly superior that you are taking in premium fuel for your body. Treat your body as you would a luxury car - only the best! :-)

    Have a great week and glad to have you back

  11. I have a hard time with my husband who tries to sabotage me as well. Since our relationship I have become more sedentary and more likely to eat huge meals. That is not his fault, that is his swaying but not his fault. That is all on me.

    I am glad you are tackling this prior to marriage and children. I had tackled this prior to our kiddo and at almost 4 months it is going well. Daddy still pigs out on candy and sweets and that bugs me, but I have been a good example.

    You gotta do what you have control of. Also you need to rectify your relationship with food. It is a beautiful thing that fuels your body, it makes you feel wonderful like a good medicine when taken in right amount and quality. That is the type of message you want your kiddos to learn. Good luck.

    Have a great week getting back to you and back to your 165 in baby steps.

  12. Oh, Laura hang on... My hubby was the same way. One thing that has been working with our family to eat healthier is to slowly incorporate healthy things. Instead of getting regular pasta I get whole wheat, then I might add more fresh tomatos to the store bought sauce. I love to eat healthy, but the rest of the family doesn't always like it. So, start off small and simple, take those baby steps. The other day I made Ratatoi and he was forced to eat it(not really I just didn't make anything else and he didn't feel like making anything else). I asked him if he liked it and he said no, but he ate it all. lol.

  13. Hang in their girl! We love you whether you are a mom or not. My hubby is awful at bringing home snacks and cakes and, gulp, my weakness, ice cream. I think a big thing is, learning to cook. If you cook he will eat it. He may balk a little at it but if he is hungry, he will eat it. My hubby learned this fast when I started staying home and making all the meals. Try some new cookbooks out like Healthy Cooking for Two (or Just You): Low-Fat Recipes with Half the Fuss and Double the Taste or my favorite recipe site Try not to cave in when he says negative things. Hold your head up high and eat how you want to eat.

  14. Oh I know it's got to be hard! Kinda makes me wonder if you can try to incorporate some of his fave dinners, but just cut out some of the fatty preparation???

    Hugs babe! You'll get into the groove!!! We're here for you.


  15. I have always been overweight, and at times was more overweight before I had I think it is awesome that you are thinking of getting in shape and learning to cook and think healthy before you have the "family" to cook for. Hopefully your hubby will get on board with you. I know it is tough to convince them when they dont necessarily see that they are not eating healthy.

  16. Girl hang in there. We are here for you. I def know what its like to not have support. Just keep your chin up and keep pushing through this funk!

  17. hey I'm not a mom either and i dont think that disqualifies you from being a mom, good luck with your dieting and exercise and i hope things get better for you welcome back


  18. You are doing a great job by preparing to be a healthier person now. I am with you on the journey of cooking more ;-)